


Safe Haven

by FandomsUnite17



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Centaur AU, Dehydration, Starvation, not really graphic but its there, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27308626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsUnite17/pseuds/FandomsUnite17
Summary: Thomas has lived on an old farm for the past four years of his life after his parents kicked him out at age eighteen.His best friend Joan works at the local centaur shelter, which has recently taken custody of four rescues that desperately need a home, A.S.A.P. They had supposedly been taken from an abusive owner who was overworking them and underfeeding them. Thomas had never worked with centaurs in his life. He worked a job grooming horses for a year or two after he moved out, but he's never dealt with centaurs before, so he had no idea why he was so empathetic towards these four rescues.On a whim one night, he called the shelter and offered his unused centaur barn as their new home. He learned very quickly that they weren't simply abused at their previous home... they were tortured. They were treated like machines at best.Now with Joan by his side, Thomas must teach his new family what it's like to be clean, and loved, what food is, and what it means to be more than just a tool. What it means to be a person. To be free. And it is going to be a very long, painstaking journey to get these boys to a point where they're able to love themselves, for who they are, and not for what they can be used for.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter One

Thomas slowed to a stop on his way back to the car, his eyes once again glued to the centaur rescue billboard. They had been asking for a home for four rescues that had all come from the same stable, which had come into their shelter just over a week ago. He didn’t know why this ad caught his eye every time he went into town, but he couldn’t shake how bad he felt for them. The shelter was the same one his best friend Joan worked at, so he knew they were trustworthy, but aside from that, he couldn’t think of any reason why he’d feel so sympathetic towards these rescues… He shook himself from his thoughts and continued to his car, tossing the groceries into the back seat before hopping in and pulling out.  
He lived on an old farm about fifteen minutes out of town. He’d lived there four years now.  
When he got back home, he brought his groceries inside and started to put them away silently. He didn’t know why those new rescues had been sticking with him so strongly, but he couldn’t shake it. It had been a week and no one wanted to take them in. They needed someone to care for them. To actually love them, not just fulfill their physical needs. They needed someone who wanted to spend time, a lot of time, to make sure they felt valued and loved. They needed somewhere to call home. He stared at his fridge, where he’d pinned a note with the rescue’s phone number, heart aching. There was a reason no one had wanted them. They were going to be more than difficult to take care of. There was something people were hearing about them when they called the shelter that they desperately didn’t like. Thomas took a deep breath and pulled out his phone. He didn’t care.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Thomas sat in his living room, waiting for the phone to pick up on the other end, one leg bouncing as he struggled to think right. Finally, a voice answered. “Hey, Thomas. What’s up?”  
“Joan, you gotta help me! I have no idea what I’m doing, this was so stupid! I’m gonna mess everything up!”  
“Whoa, whoa, dude, what’s going on?”  
“You weren’t working last night?”  
“No? Why? What happened?”  
“Oh, man. I’m taking the new rescues. I called last night.”  
“What?! You’re kidding, that’s awesome!”  
“No! No it’s not! I have no idea what to do with them!”  
“I know you’ve got plenty of space.”  
“No, no, not with that! Joan, I have never even gone close to a centaur! Once in my life! I’ve dealt with horses before, but never centaurs!”  
“Dude, I know. But like I’ve said, the experience isn’t that important with centaurs, as long as you treat ‘em right.”  
“But I don’t know how! I don’t know how to treat them! I know how to treat horses! But I don’t know the first thing about centaurs!”  
“Okay, okay, breathe. You’ll do fine, alright? When are they rehoming?”  
“They said to expect them like an hour from now?!”  
“Whoa. Not much time left… Alright, just hold tight, okay? I’ll be over in a minute.”  
“Thanks a billion, Joan. You’re a life-saver.”  
“Yeah, sure thing. See you in a bit.”  
Joan hung up and Thomas slowly set his phone down, shaking. His heart was racing. He was not prepared for this. This is the worst thing he’s ever done on impulse. He was gonna ruin these centaur’s lives! He took a deep breath and pulled himself to his feet, going out onto the front porch to wait for Joan.  
About twenty-five minutes later, Joan’s car pulled up and Thomas jumped to his feet to meet them halfway in a quick hug. “Thanks again for coming. I have no idea what’s wrong with me...”  
Joan just shook their head. “Dude, you’re lucky I have the day off. But listen, you’re way too worked up about this! Centaurs are easy.”  
“But… but these guys…”  
Joan nodded solemnly. “Yeah, they’re… a really bad case. When the cops got to ‘em they’d almost died they were so dehydrated…”  
Thomas nodded stiffly. “Yeah, they… they told me everything on the phone… about their… abusive owners and….”  
Joan shook their head again, letting a smile play back onto their lips. “Listen, Thomas, don’t worry so much. They’re in really bad shape, yeah, so they’re gonna be a lot harder work, but c’mon. I know you can handle it. They’ll love you once they realize you’re not dangerous, I’m sure.”  
Thomas sighed. “For their sakes, I really hope you’re right…”  
“Now, your biggest hurdle is gonna be trust, alright? So let’s go see what you’ve done with the barn.” Thomas nodded.  
Thomas had re-cleaned all of the biggest stalls the night before, as well as put up a few decorations, opened the stall’s doors, and laid multiple blankets over the open doors, and cleared off a large shelf built into the wall in the center hallway standing six feet off the ground. “I figure it could be like a makeshift table for now?”  
Joan nodded slowly. “This is all pretty good for last-minute. As soon as you can, I would maybe install some hooks to go in the stalls for the blankets and get rid of the doors entirely. And it might be a good idea to keep the door to the tack room closed since we don’t know exactly what was used against them. I know you’ve never messed with the stuff in there much, being that it came with the place and all, but they don’t know that and we don’t know if that’d scare ‘em.” Thomas nodded and rushed over to pull the door closed, and Joan smiled as he got back. “Aside from that, and getting some wall-beds, I would just make changes for them all personally once you learn a bit more about them. ”  
Thomas nodded, letting himself smile. “Okay. You think they’ll be okay with it?”  
“Don’t stress it, I’m sure they’ll like it fine. Oh, but it looks like you can ask them yourself.” Joan pointed, and Thomas looked up to see two large centaur trailers slowly back up near the barn.  
“Oh, no, they’re here already.”  
“Whoa, okay, so what? Come on, you wanted this.”  
Thomas took a deep breath and nodded, following Joan up to meet the two people getting out of the trucks. One of them was a dark-skinned man with a huge smile on his face and the other was a person with bright blue hair. They both ran up to Joan immediately.”Joan! What are you doing here?”  
“Hey, guys! I’m here helping my man, Thomas.”  
“Oh my gosh, this is your Thomas?!”  
“Yep. In the flesh.”  
“Well hey! Glad to meet you! I’m Talyn, and this is Terence. We’ve heard quite a lot about you. I didn’t know you wanted centaurs.”  
“I didn’t either… I’ve been thinking about it since you guys put up the billboard about these four. They kinda just… stuck with me, you know?”  
“Aw, that’s precious! Okay, then, you ready to meet ‘em?”  
Terence cleared his throat pointedly. “Assuming you got briefed about them when you called?”  
Thomas nodded nervously. “I did.”  
Terence nodded to Talyn and they unlocked the first trailer, slowly swinging the doors open. The first thing Thomas noticed about the two centaurs inside was that they were expressionless, perfectly still except for a barely-noticeable glance towards Thomas. The next thing he noticed was how nauseatingly thin they both were. Every one of their bones was visible. Lastly, he noticed that their wrists were tied together, and the ends of the ropes they were bound with were tied to the inside of the trailer. Thomas stared at the ropes in horror as Terence and Talyn untied them from the wall and led them out of the trailer. “Lead the way.”  
Thomas stuttered. “What are the ropes for? Why are they tied up?”  
Talyn sighed. “We don’t like it any more than you do. But it’s just for safety. These guys have been through a lot of nasty stuff because of humans, so we didn’t want them to think they were in danger and run. Not that we don’t want them on their own, we just… don’t know if they could survive on their own right now. They’re all pretty young still, and they’ve never been by themselves by the sound of it. We just don’t want anything else to happen to them.”  
Thomas nodded and stepped back, gesturing vaguely to the open stalls. Once they were both in, and he’d told Talyn and Terence to leave the stall doors open, he stepped into the first stall and looked up at the centaur’s face. “Sorry about this rope. Can I untie it for you?” The centaur nodded slowly and so he carefully untied the rope and tossed it out of the stall. He smiled gently, then moved on to the second centaur, where he did the same thing, got the same small nod, and tossed the rope out. Finally, he stepped out and went up to greet the other two. Now he was nervous. One of these centaurs he was about to meet, whichever one was mostly black, was going to be a lot harder to work with than the others. He may never trust human men again. He had been very unprofessionally gelded by his previous, abusive, owner… with a kitchen knife. He almost hadn’t survived, but nonetheless, he was forced to continue working the very next day, despite the raw, bleeding wounds and excruciating pain. Thomas watched as the doors were opened and the two centaurs were led out. Immediately he felt a momentary panic, and a split-second instinct to run. The centaur who had black fur was a Shire. He hadn’t asked what breed and race they were on the phone. He hadn’t cared. But now his heart race faster as he watched the ginormous creature stop suddenly, tugging gently against the ropes around his wrists. Talyn, who was leading the shorter of the two, told Terence to wait where he was and they would both coax the Shire to come once the first centaur was inside. Terence agreed and so Thomas followed centaur number three into a stall and gently asked permission before removing his ropes as well. Finally, it was time to coax the last centaur inside and let him see his new home. Thomas stepped back and watched. Terence loosened his grip on the ropes and they both spoke soft assurances of safety until finally, very slowly, the centaur let them lead him inside. Thomas slowly stepped into the stall with the Shire, vaguely noticing Joan step over to send the two others off. “Hey.” He smiled as kindly as he could and looked up to see the Shire shaking slightly, face firmly held unmoving in an obvious effort to keep his eyes from getting misty. “Are you alright?” No answer. “Okay… Is it okay if I take that rope off?” After a very long, silent minute, the centaur finally held his hands forwards. Thomas smiled up at him and very gently untied the rope, setting it down this time instead of tossing it. “There you go.” Awkwardly, he stepped out and gestured for Joan to follow him to the side.  
“See? You’re doing great so far! They seem really calm.”  
Thomas looked back to see them all standing stone-stiff, barely allowing themselves to blink. “That’s calm?!”  
“Oh, yeah. For these four? That’s calm.”  
Thomas nodded slowly. “So, how do I go about grooming?”  
“With centaurs, the upper half you can just hand ‘em a hose and they do it themselves, but with the lower half, they can’t reach everywhere so you just handle that part like you would a horse. I know you know how to groom a horse.”  
“Okay, so about the lower half then… how do I talk to them?”  
“What do you mean? Just say whatever you’d say to a normal person.”  
“Well, I don’t know what I’d say to a normal person! Alright, time to brush your ass now, stay still! I mean, come on! You gotta help me...”  
Joan burst out laughing. “Oh, man, Thomas! You’re making this a lot more complicated than it is. Okay, okay, listen, these guys are like teenagers mentally, so you might offend them no matter what you do, but most centaurs don’t care. They’re not self-conscious about that kinda stuff. Only one I’d suggest being extra careful with is the Shire. So just make sure you watch for uncomfortable body language and you should be fine. I’ll help you introduce yourself and work on the first kid, alright?”  
Thomas nodded. “Thanks, again.”  
“Sure thing. I mean, this is what I do. On purpose.” They both laughed and stepped back towards the stalls. They silently agreed on a stall and stepped into the furthest on the right, and finally, Thomas let himself examine what he looked like aside from sickly thin and apathetic. He had slick white fur. Or, what he assumed would be slick if it wasn’t caked with filth. He also had a long, matted, white tail. His upper half was just as filthy, and his long brown hair was matted and oily. Now that Thomas could examine his face, he realized that he was clearly of Latino origin. Joan cleared their throat quietly and spoke to him in a low voice. “Hey there. Do you remember me? I tried to talk to you a few times. My name is Joan.” The centaur glanced at him momentarily. “And this is Thomas. He’s gonna be taking care of you from now on.”  
“Hi. It’s nice to meet you.” Thomas held out a hand, and then a lot happened at once.  
There was a loud sound, something hitting roughly against the wall, and a voice screamed furiously. “Don’t touch him!”  
Joan and Thomas both flinched and slowly stepped back, hands raised. Thomas sighed shakily. “We won’t. We won’t. I’m sorry.”  
Joan whispered to him. “He’s the one that kept us from grooming any of them.”  
Thomas nodded and then slowly stepped forwards, towards the one that had screamed. “M-My name is Thomas. I don’t want anyone to get upset, so can I ask if it’s okay with you if I touch the others?” The centaur shook his head violently. “Okay. I won’t, then. I won’t touch them. I-Is it okay if I just talk to them?” After a long moment, he nodded hesitantly. “Alright. Then I’ll just talk, okay?” The centaur nodded. He was filthy just like the first, just like he assumed all of them were. His fur was a chestnut brown, and his tail looked the same color, if not darker. It was hard to tell what color anything was through the mud and caked-on dirt. He had long, matted, bright red, curly hair and green eyes, and he had tanned skin with freckles covering every inch of his upper half. He didn’t have an accent, seeing as he was probably raised among humans in the area, but given his facial structure, and the freckles and bright red hair, he was most likely Irish. Thomas hoped they would let him clean them off sometime soon. They moved on to the third centaur next. “Hi. I’m not sure if you heard a minute ago, but my name is Thomas. And, um…”  
Joan spoke up. “He’s gonna be taking care of you guys now.” The centaur’s head lifted and he looked at Joan silently. His face remained emotionless, but he had definitely reacted to Joan’s voice. “Hi! You remember me?” The centaur nodded. “Awesome! I might be coming over sometimes to check up on you guys. Is that alright?” No response. Joan nodded silently. This centaur had dark brown fur and a tail equally as matted as the others’. His upper half was pale, with long, black, matted hair. His eyes were closed firmly. Joan gestured towards the last stall and Thomas nodded.  
They both went over into the last stall and Thomas stepped up nervously. Now that he had a chance to look at him, the Shire boy’s face gave off that he had a very asian appearance, most likely Japanese. “Hey. Um, I’m sure you heard, but, um… I’m Thomas, and….” His voice trailed off and him and Joan both froze, feeling a harsh glare boring into their sides. They looked over and saw the Irish centaur glaring at them so hard that his top lip was pulling up and they could see him breathing heavily. Immediately they both backed up, hands up. “We’re not touching him.”  
“Don’t care.” His voice was little more than a guttural snap.  
“Okay, okay. Can…” They both stepped back a few more steps. “Can I talk to him from here? I’ll be quiet…” He hesitated, then nodded once, firmly. “Can Joan talk to him too? Or just one of us?” The centaur shook his head and shakily pointed one finger at Thomas. “Just me?” He nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk to him, just me. I won’t move.” He nodded, so Thomas glanced at Joan and then looked back at the Shire centaur before them, making sure to keep his voice almost in a whisper as he spoke to him. “Um… My name is Thomas, and… I’m gonna be… well, you’re gonna be staying here… if that’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you guys from here on out…” He then stepped sideways a bit until he was in front of all four stalls and raised his voice a bit. “So if any of you needs anything, please tell me.” He nodded awkwardly and then turned to Joan, who had followed him. “Um, should I make something for them for breakfast first? Or I guess it’s lunchtime now.”  
Joan shrugged. “If they’ll take it. They didn’t want any of the stuff we gave them.”  
Thomas nodded slowly, thought for a moment, then held up a finger triumphantly and dragged Joan to the house right beside the stables. He stopped in the kitchen. “I just got an idea. So if their previous owner treated them like he did, don’t you think he probably fed them.. basically garbage?”  
“That’s what we thought too, but they wouldn’t take anything we gave them, no matter how cheap-y it tasted or how soggy or uncooked it was.”  
“No, I’m thinking further than that. I don’t mean just bad quality food, I mean what if they actually were fed stuff we would throw away? Stuff that isn’t even food anymore?”  
“No… I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised at all, given the state we got them in, but… to think that someone would feed living, thinking people actual garbage… like literally trash…”  
Thomas nodded solemnly. “But that would explain why they wouldn’t eat, though… If they’ve never eaten real food before… maybe they don’t even know the stuff you guys were trying to feed them… was food…”  
Joan shook his head, disgusted. “So what do we do?”  
Thomas sighed. “I really hate to say this, but… if we want them to learn what real food is, I think… we’re gonna have to start with what they’re used to…”  
Joan groaned. “I hoped you wouldn’t say that… but I think you’re right. So, what do you have?”  
“Um… What kinda stuff do you think they would take?”  
“Well, if what you’re saying is true, then… I could guess they would have been fed… table scraps maybe? Pet food? Live pests? Like insects or rodents? By the sounds of the guy they were taken from, anything cheap or free.”  
“Alright… I wonder if they would take like vegetable leaves. Or the stems or something.”  
“Oh, that’s a good idea!”  
Thomas nodded and began unloading the fresh vegetables from the fridge onto the counter. “Uh, what else…?”  
“Well… I hate to be the one to think of this… but do you have any chicken bones you’ve thrown out?”  
“Oh, no. I mean, yes, I do, it’s in a separate bag and everything, but… Do I have to give them that?”  
Joan shrugged. “It might be the only way they’ll eat anything…”  
Thomas groaned, took a deep breath, and stepped over and pulled the bag out of the trash can. “Ugh, okay, what else?”  
“Onion peels you think?”  
Thomas nodded and pulled out a few onions from a hanging basket. “Okay…” Joan nodded, then spotted something and stepped over. They looked down at it, then looked up at Thomas. “No. No, I am not giving them that. I’m not gonna feed them anything rotten, I was supposed to throw those away!”  
“I know, Thomas, but they’d probably eat it…”  
Thomas sighed angrily. “Fine. Fine, okay.”  
“Okay. I think this’ll be enough for the first time.”  
“What?! No! There’s not near enough there for three, let alone, four people!”  
“Thomas…”


	2. Chapter Two

They were about to walk into the stables, each with a plate in each hand, when Thomas stopped right outside of it. “Joan, I can’t do it. I can’t give them this. I can’t let them eat this. This isn’t food!”  
“I know it’s not. But they won’t eat food. If there’s even a chance they might eat this, then don’t you think that’s worth a try?”  
Thomas took a deep breath and nodded, head hung. “Okay. Okay, fine. Let’s do this.” Joan nodded and they stepped into the stables, and immediately all four heads lifted hopefully, then dropped almost immediately. Thomas and Joan glanced at each other and continued to the stalls. They stopped in the middle of all four and Joan stopped him. “It’d probably be better if you went up to give it to them alone.”  
“Oh. Okay.” Thomas took a deep breath and set one plate down on a chest, then slowly stepped into the first stall. “Hi. Um…” He held up the plate silently and smiled. Very slowly, the white-furred centaur reached down and took it, a grin creeping over his face. Thomas stepped back out and watched him for a minute. But just as he was about to go for the next plate, he blinked in surprise. The centaur was trying to share the plate with the Irish boy next to him. “No, no, that’s yours.” The boy looked at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “That one’s yours. We’ve got one for him too. See?” He picked up the next plate and held it up. The boy looked at the plate, then back at Joan holding two more, and shook his head slightly, face screwing up in bewilderment. He very slowly pulled his plate back to himself as Thomas stepped forward and held the next plate up to the Irish boy, who shook his head and looked away.   
Thomas was frozen momentarily with surprise. “You can have it.” The boy shook his head and pointed to the two stalls beside him. “You want me to give them theirs first?” He nodded firmly, so Thomas backed out, shocked, and stepped into the next stall, where the pale boy with black hair was.   
He held the plate up, and the boy looked in Joan’s direction, then back down at Thomas, and finally took it. Thomas smiled at him and went back to get one of the plates from Joan before heading towards the Shire boy.   
A few feet from the stall, he looked over at the Irish boy. “Can I go up to him and give him this?” He nodded, so Thomas turned back to the Shire boy and stepped up to him, holding the plate up for him. The boy stared for a long time before very quickly and violently snatching the plate from Thomas’s hands.   
Thomas stumbled back and then forced a smile, turning back to Joan for the last plate and heading back to the second centaur. “Everyone’s gotten theirs except you now… Do you want it?” He held it up slowly and very gently the boy lifted it from his hands. He smiled up at him and stepped back to stand beside Joan, but his face fell when he looked at all the centaurs holding their plates. They were staring at the plates intently, desperately, but not eating. Just staring at him. “Y-You can eat it…” They glanced at him, looking confused, and looked back down at their plates.  
Joan tapped him on the shoulder and whispered to him. “Maybe they need to be… told to. Like a command…”  
Thomas nodded nervously and took another deep breath. “Um… Eat. N-Now.” Immediately they dropped all composure as they shoveled the scraps into their mouths like starving wolves, and Thomas and Joan flinched slightly. They glanced at each other, smiles creeping across their faces, and turned back to watch happily as the centaurs ate, both holding back triumphant laughter.  
Once the centaurs were done eating, they collected the plates and brought them back to the kitchen, where Joan finally allowed themself to scream. “They ate! They actually ate! Yes! I can’t wait to tell everyone at the shelter! This is incredible, Thomas! We all tried to get them to eat and they never reacted to it and the whole time it was because they didn’t even know we were giving them food! How did we not see this before?! Thomas, they wouldn’t let us go anywhere near them, and you just got them to eat! I think you’re the best thing that’s happened to these guys!”  
“Pretty sure that title falls to whichever officials got them out of that place.”  
“Oh, shut up and take a compliment!” They both laughed. “But seriously Thomas, we don’t know… anything about them. They wouldn’t even react to us, no matter what we did. The only time we got a reaction out of anyone is if we tried to touch any of them the one kid would yell or stomp at us a bit, but even with us he never actually spoke! They’re like completely different people!”  
“Joan, do you really, honestly think I can do this?”  
“Yeah, I do! Plus I’ll be right there with ya if you need me.”  
“Yeah… yeah, thanks, Joan. Really.”


	3. Chapter Three

Two weeks went by with no change. The irish boy didn’t let Thomas touch any of them or go near the Shire boy, so he hadn’t been able to try to groom them at all. But he’d given them food, or more accurately the sad remnants of what might have once been food but was just garbage at that point. They hadn’t been willing to eat anything better quality. Thomas had spent hours each day talking to them. Not talking about anything in particular, just talking. About himself, about nature, about his previous job grooming horses, about how much he wanted them all to feel valued, about anything he could think of to talk about. Just so they could get used to him. And Joan had come over every day either before or after work to give Thomas lessons on how to care for centaurs and to visit with the four centaurs to check on their minimal progress.  
It was heartbreaking how surprised the centaurs were when Thomas brought them dinner that night, and then three meals the next day.  
Thomas was starting to wonder they were ever going to make progress when something heartbreaking and incredible happened. The Latino boy talked to him. Thomas almost hadn’t heard him he’d been so quiet. “When are you going to punish us?”  
Thomas stared at him, shocked silent for a solid minute. “Why would you think I was gonna punish you?”  
The boy hung his head. “We haven’t worked…”  
Thomas shook his head. “I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to work.” The boy looked up at him, completely baffled, staring unmoving. Thomas smiled and nodded. “I don’t want any of you to work. I just want you to keep eating and take care of yourself.” The boy shook his head in bewilderment, squinting his eyes as if he might be hallucinating.  
During the next few days, he gave them all constant assurances of that fact. He had no idea that was something he should be reminding them. Sighing, he set out the folders he’d made for them on his table. He was going to be filling them with different information on each of the different boys. Their food preferences, habits, favorites, dislikes, etc. But as of yet he still hadn’t even learned their names. There was almost nothing in any of the folders, and on the front was simply written their race and breed. The first was for the Latino boy. Latino-PureSpanishBreed. Next was the red-headed boy. Irish-CanadianHorse. The third boy’s read Caucasian-Morgan. And the last boy’s was Japanese-Shire. That was all he knew about them. And the fact that the Irish boy was very protective of the other three. Joan had told them that. All of it. Everything he knew about them was what Joan had figured out and told him. He really had no idea what he was doing… He hoped he could learn more about them soon.  
It was yet another week until there was any kind of change. And it wasn’t just any change either. It was a breakthrough. The day before said breakthrough Thomas had noticed the Latino boy rubbing his face against the wall until some of the dirt flaked off, moving to a new spot, and so on. So he’d brought a wet washcloth and set it over the door of his stall before he’d gone to bed. The next morning when he brought them their breakfast he noticed all four of their faces looked significantly cleaner and the rag was back right where he’d left it, caked in a solid layer of brown that might never come out. He was overjoyed as he watched them eat. Once they were done, he collected their plates, but as he was leaving he was stopped by the Irish boy’s almost silent voice. “Can we… May we have another towel soon… M-Master?”  
Thomas smiled as he walked over and grabbed the filthy towel. “Call me Thomas, please.” Then he left, dumped the plates and washcloth on the kitchen counter, and came back. “Now, if you’d like, I can get you guys some more towels, or… I can do better. If you’d like, we can go outside and I can let you guys wash off.” The boy squinted and backed up a step. “I won’t touch anybody. I promise.” He looked pointedly over at the Shire boy. “I won’t go near him at all. I don’t have to go near any of them if you don’t want me to.” The boy was silent for nearly five minutes before nodding. Thomas smiled. “Thank you. Do you guys want to go clean off? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” They all looked at each other nervously and finally, one by one, they nodded.  
Thomas grinned wide and went to the far end of the barn and opened the huge doors. “It’s out back down here.” But none of them moved an inch. They said they wanted to, so… they probably didn’t think they were allowed to… but why…? He looked over at them and it all pieced together at once. They didn’t think they were allowed to leave the stalls. That’s why they wouldn’t come out. That’s why they hadn’t explored the rest of the barn. That’s why they hadn’t used the shelf he’d cleared for a table. He felt like smacking his forehead. This explained so much! “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry guys! You can leave!” They looked at each other momentarily and looked back at him, confused.   
Thomas sighed. They weren’t comprehending what he was saying at all. He hated commanding them to do stuff… He took a deep breath. Just say it and get it over with. “Leave the stalls.” They obeyed immediately. “And… o-out the back here.” They looked a bit confused, but obeyed, walking past him and outside. He sighed and followed them out, holding back an apology, knowing it would just confuse them more. Smiling at them, he unrolled the hose, aimed it away from them, and turned the water on. Then he carefully held it out and the centaurs all looked at his hand as if it were made of acid. He groaned internally. He would have to command them again. “Take it.”   
The boys glanced at each other nervously and the pale boy stepped up and took the hose, calmly backing up. Thomas smiled gratefully, hiding his sigh at seeing the boy’s eyes closed still. That was something he’d noticed fairly quickly about that boy; he rarely opened his eyes, and he could apparently function wonderfully without sight. Thomas was sure by his reactions to some things that he could see to some degree, but even when his eyes were open it was also very clear that however much he could see was an extremely small percentage. Thomas had the idea that he was probably nearsighted, being that he was always leaning forwards when his eyes happened to be open. The Irish boy did that as well, leaning forwards and squinting at things, and it took him longer to react to anything happening further away from him. The Irish boy acted like he could mostly see, but it was obvious to Thomas that he needed an eye exam as well. Unfortunately, at the rate things were going, they might not be comfortable enough for that for a long time.  
Thomas watched silently as they each scrubbed themselves down slowly, letting each other help to scrub down their lower backs. Unfortunately, the boys couldn’t reach each other’s legs very far down, but Thomas knew they weren’t comfortable enough for him to help yet.  
He was so distracted that he didn’t see the Irish boy coming closer to him until he was towering over him, long hair dripping on him. He looked up, and he saw a look in the boy’s eyes that he’d never seen in him before — bravery and utter curiosity. He realized a second too late that the boy was holding the hose. Whoosh! “Oh, geez!” Thomas flinched and shot his hands above his head as the hose sprayed straight down on him.   
The water was freezing cold, and soaking through every bit of clothing he was wearing, but he didn’t care. He laughed. Loudly. The water moved off of him and he looked up, a huge grin on his face. The boy’s eyes were incredibly wide with bewilderment. Thomas just laughed some more. “Oh my gosh, this is freezing cold! Let’s get back inside and I’ll go get some towels, okay?”  
The boy backed up and blinked. It took him a moment to react, but eventually, he did, gesturing and going inside alongside the others.   
Thomas followed them in and closed the doors, then went straight to the other side and left again, returning a moment later with two very large armfuls of towels. He dropped them all on a chest, grabbed one for himself, and stepped back, gesturing towards the pile. “Go ahead. Grab some.” The centaurs obeyed. They all scrubbed themselves mostly dry and Thomas was about to collect the towels back when he heard a loud, wet smack and he flinched. He looked up quickly and heard a second at the same time as he saw the Irish boy swing his towel around to his back. Whack! He flinched again and ran up to him, pulling the towel from his grasp. “No.” His voice cracked as he spoke and a hand shot to cover his mouth as tears forced their way down his cheeks. “No… Why would… Why?”  
The Irish boy’s shoulders were pulled up almost covering his ears and there were tears building in his eyes. He was shaking head-to-toe and he looked terrified. Thomas shook his head, a fierce, disgusted look crossing his face. “No. You can’t do that. Okay?! Don’t you ever do anything like that again! You hear me?!” Tears were pouring down his face now and he was shaking with fury. How could anyone treat a person so horribly they felt the need to beat themselves?! “Okay?!” He swung back his arm as he said it, pulling the towel further away from the boy, and then everything happened very quickly. The boy looked like he was trying very hard not to full-on sob, Thomas heard something move quickly beside him, he glanced over to see a white blur, and CRACK!


	4. Chapter Four

Thomas woke up with a rush of violent pain and a scream. He clenched his teeth and tried to move, but he felt someone pushing down on his shoulders, forcing him to stay laying down. “Thomas! Hold on, lemme get a nurse in here.”   
Thomas groaned, his voice sinking into a tearful whine at the end. Finally, he cracked his eyes open and waited for them to adjust to the light. His right arm was throbbing so badly it hurt all the down his legs and he felt nauseous; his head was throbbing violently as well. “Damnit, it hurts! What happened?”   
He opened his eyes the rest of the way to find Joan sitting down on the bed he was laying on. “Thomas? You there? Can you hear me?”  
Thomas blinked and looked around. “Uh, yeah.” He moaned. “What’s…?” He was in a hospital room. He looked down at his right arm and saw that it was wrapped in a tight cast.  
Before Joan could respond a nurse walked into the room and Joan immediately spoke to him. “He just woke up. He’s acting like it really hurts.”  
The nurse nodded and went over to check his vitals, then turned to Thomas. “Hello, Thomas. Do you remember why you’re here?” Thomas shook his head. “Okay. What’s the last thing you remember?”  
“Uh… Um… I think I was… at the barn at my house… yeah, I was… I was bringing the boys breakfast, and then… oh, yeah! Joan, they went outside and washed off!” Joan smiled at him and gestured at the nurse with a flick of his head. “Right, right… after that… after that… I… I don’t know… I think after that I went and got towels, but then… I can’t...”  
“That’s actually very good. We were worried you might lose much more memory than that.”  
“I lost…?” He grunted as a wave of pain shot through his arm. “What happened?”  
“You were attacked by one of your centaurs. You were lucky your friend had just arrived and saw it happen.”  
“Wait, I was…? Which one?” Despite the pain, he smiled briefly. “Who was it?”  
Joan chuckled sadly. “Attacked and stuck in the hospital and you’re still thinking about them. It was the Pure Spanish kid. White fur, Latino boy? I’ll explain it later.”  
Thomas nodded slowly and opened his mouth to speak but a pained groan overtook his words. He looked back at the nurse miserably. “You have a fracture in your right forearm and you got a mild concussion from the impact. You got very lucky. Most people that are lucky enough to survive a centaur attack never recover, but your injuries are very minimal. You’ll likely have full use of your arm again in about seven-to-nine weeks.”  
“I don’t think he would try to attack violently though… I mean, I don’t really know them, but... “  
Joan shook their head. “He thought you were attacking one of the others. I’ll explain it to you later, alright?”  
Thomas nodded, then turned his attention back to the nurse, who was waiting patiently for them to finish and continued speaking as soon as Thomas did so. “Whatever the reason was, you are extremely lucky. Nonetheless, we would like to keep you here for at least another day if we have your permission. If you absolutely must leave, then you will be well enough to go in a few hours.”  
“No, no, I can… I can stay.”  
“Thank you. There is another matter I’d like to discuss with the both of you. Mr. Stokes, you did tell me that the two of you are fairly close friends?”  
“Yeah. What’s up?”  
“I would suggest that you stay with Thomas for the next few days after he returns home to keep an eye on his pain levels and watch for any unwanted side effects showing up. Of course that’s just a suggestion, it is not at all necessary. I’m only slightly more concerned because of how little damage he received from such a creature when most who get kicked in the same region he did die upon impact. To the best of our knowledge, he should recover with no complications. My only concern is the concussion and any possibly worsening of negative effects caused by that.”  
Joan looked at Thomas and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that. That's cool?”  
Thomas nodded, wincing at the movement. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.”   
“Awesome. Then yeah, we can definitely do that. I just gotta let my boss know real quick I’ll need a few extra days off, so I’ll be right back.” He pulled his phone out and got up.  
“Wait, wait, you’re taking off work? You don’t have to miss work…”  
Joan smiled. “Hey, not like I’m gonna get bored. I can help you with the boys.” They winked and slipped out the door.  
Thomas sighed and turned his attention back to the nurse. “You’re lucky to have such a loyal friend.”  
“Yeah. I am. They’ve done a lot for me.”  
The nurse smiled. “How is your pain right now?” Thomas groaned, shaking his head. “Above six on a one-to-ten scale?”  
“Yeah. Definitely. Definitely above six.”  
“Alright. I’m gonna have them give you some painkillers again now that you’re awake, alright?” Thomas nodded gratefully and the man left.   
He sat silently, brain rushing at a million miles an hour, until Josn stepped back in. “Boss man says I’m good to stay as long as I need to.”  
Thomas sighed against the pain throbbing through his arm. “Thanks. Won’t you miss work, though?”  
Joan shrugged. “Probably. But if I’m helping you, I suppose I can suffer through it.” They sighed dramatically, and Thomas laughed silently and shook his head. “No, but seriously, man, I’ll be fine. I can help out a little more with the boys.”  
“Yeah… Speaking of them… what happened?”  
“Well… I’d just gotten there just as you were going back into the stables with the towels…”  
Joan explained the entire situation, and by the end Thomas was horrified with himself. “I… I screamed at him?!”  
Joan nodded. “Yeah, you were really upset… You weren’t mad at them at all, I think you were just pissed at their old owners and that’s just how you expressed that in the moment. It’s nothing you meant to do, obviously.”  
“But they don’t know that…”  
“Yeah… But that is a good sign, that he was brave enough to fight back a bit.”  
“Yeah, it is. Oh, and oh my gosh, you should have seen it! The red-head boy? The one that’s always so protective of the others? He came right up to me! Like, he was standing over me! And then he sprayed me with the hose!”  
“Oh, no way! He walked up to you. And he sprayed you.” Thomas nodded, grinning. “Oh my gosh!”  
“Oh my gosh!” They both laughed. “So, who’s watching the boys?”  
Joan’s face dropped. “Well, I didn’t… I was trying to get you here, and then I was so worried while they brought you back for testing, I didn’t really… ask anyone to stay with them…”  
“No! No, they’re alone?!”  
“I mean… yeah. It’s only been a few hours…”  
“No, no, no! If he started beating himself just because he sprayed water on me… no, no, no! I have to go! I gotta see them! Joan, you gotta make them let me go, now!”  
“Thomas, they’re okay… Okay? Breathe for me, dude. They’re gonna be fine. It’ll be better for you if you stay.”  
There was a knock on the doorway and a woman walked in. “Hello, Thomas. I’ve brought some extra painkillers.”  
“I gotta go! I gotta get back home!”  
“I was told you were going to stay over the next day as well. Have you changed your mind?”  
“Yeah. I gotta get home, now!”  
“Okay. I’ll attach this painkiller and then I’ll go arrange your release as soon as we can, okay?” Thomas nodded violently, so a few minutes later she left.  
“Thomas, you gotta calm down. They’re old enough not to get themselves hurt.”  
“I’m not worried about them hurting themselves on accident!”  
Joan’s eyes went wide. “Oh.”  
Two hours later, Joan was driving Thomas home. “Can’t you go any faster?!”  
“I’m going as fast as I can, Thomas. I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Thomas nodded neurotically.  
Once they got back, Thomas was out of the car almost before it was parked. He ran full speed for the barn, stumbling inside, and he looked between the four. All except for the Shire boy were covered in open, bleeding wounds, and he saw a very bloody lead rope laying on the ground. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a heartbroken sob. He let himself cry, howling aloud, and clasped his good hand over his mouth as he sunk to his knees. He tried again to speak but only managed another broken sob as he mouthed the words. ‘I’m so sorry.’


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, real quick everyone I wanted to give a shout-out to KieraElieson for their own SandersSides Centaur AU. Their AU was what inspired me to write this one, so thanks for the awesome idea KieraElieson!

He felt Joan wrap their arms around him, crouched on his knees beside him, and Thomas hugged him tightly with one arm and buried his face into his shoulder. “It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault!”  
“No, Thomas, you’ve done everything you can for these guys. This is not your fault. It was just a misunderstanding, and I’m the one who left them alone. If this is anyone’s fault it’s mine.”  
“No. No.”  
“Then it’s no one’s fault. Okay? You didn’t know, Thomas. You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known they would do this. I didn’t know either. I hadn’t even thought about it. They’re lucky you did, okay? They didn’t do this because of you.”  
“Yes, they did. When the Irish boy beat himself I think it was because I didn’t punish him. It’s my fault they did this. If I hadn’t raised my voice like that, if I hadn’t sounded angry, they-”  
“Thomas, enough. Stop. Just stop. They did this because they were tortured. Because they were abused. And their minds don’t know how to handle change this drastic and this sudden. They did this because their minds are trying to bring back their normal. This is part of PTSD.”  
Thomas sighed and finally pulled away. “Okay… Okay.” He sniffled and wiped his face, slowly standing up with Joan. “Thanks. A lot.”  
Joan smiled. “Yeah. Sure. Now let’s get these guys taken care of before their wounds get any worse. I’ll go in and raid your first aid stuff, you stay out here and talk to them a bit. Let ‘em know you’re okay, tell ‘em what’s goin’ on, that kind stuff. Uh, just a warning though… We’re gonna have to be touching them a lot to get all these wounds clean, so be prepared to get a little mean with the Irish boy if need be. I don’t like it either, but we have to clean those wounds if we don’t want them to get infected.”  
Thomas nodded and so Joan left. Thomas took a deep breath and turned to the centaurs, who were watching him silently. “Hi, guys. We’re gonna take care of you, okay?” Slowly, scared of what he’d see up close, he stepped over to the white-furred centaur and gasped. He was leaning against the wall. He had more wounds than any of the rest of them; clearly, he’d been much, much harder on himself. “Oh… oh, buddy…” He took a deep breath. “It’s okay. Joan’s coming back with some supplies and then we’ll take care of you, okay?” No response. “Okay. I… I’m not mad at you. Not at all.” The boy looked at him weakly, looking exhausted and amazed. “I’m not mad at you, I swear. It was my fault for taking out my anger on him, and I am so sorry. And I’m sorry I scared you so badly. But if it helps I”m not hurt that bad. They said I got a mild concussion and my right arm here is broken, but aside from that… I’m okay. They said my injuries were both really minimal, so… thank you. For being gentle.” The centaur stared at him, incredulous, and then tears started running down his face and his shoulders started shaking. “Hey, hey, no, are you okay? What’s wrong?”  
“You… you thanked him?”  
Thomas looked over to see the Irish boy looking at him. “Yeah. He could have really hurt me. But he chose not to. So I got to come home. So, yeah. I thanked him, because I’m grateful that he was gentle with me. He was just protecting you.”  
The boy stared silently in amazement. Before he could come up with anything to say, Joan came back with a bucket full of first aid supplies. “Alright, I’m back! How’re they doing, Thomas?”  
Thomas went over to meet them and they both looked through the supplies. “I honestly don’t know. The Latino boy seems really weak.”  
Joan nodded. “Okay. We’re gonna have to stop the bleeding. So, do you wanna keep the other boy back and I’ll dress the wounds or other way around?”  
“Other way around. Lemme go fill this bucket real quick.” Thomas took the bucket and filled it, then came back and grabbed the sponge from the pile of supplies. Joan grabbed the lead rope from the floor, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it, and stepped up beside the Irish by while Thomas stepped into the first stall with the bucket. “Hi. I’m gonna clean out these wounds, okay? It’s just water right now.” The boy nodded weakly. “Okay.” He dunked the sponge in the bucket, wrung it out, and carefully pressed it against the closest wound. The boy didn’t even flinch at the touch, but he heard aloud scuffle behind and the other boy was screaming at him to stop. He paused for a second, but took a deep breath and continued anyway. He redunked the sponge. “Okay, it’s gonna touch again.” He carefully pressed it against the wound again, letting water gush out and run down the wound. “And again.” He repeated it. “And again… and again… and again…” He muttered a warning every time he pressed the sponge against a cut.  
Halfway through, he had to replace the water because so much blood had gotten in it. “Okay, I’m back. And… it’s gonna touch again. And again… and again… and again.”  
Once he was done, he grabbed one of the towels he’d left in here earlier and dabbed everything dry. Then he put peroxide on the towel and dabbed everything again. Finally he covered the boy in bandages and wrapped them all in gauze. “Okay… Okay. Does that feel alright?” The boy just sighed, eyes closed. Thomas nodded slowly.  
“Thomas. Stay focused. Go ahead and take care of the morgan kid and I’ll keep on keeping this guy at bay.”  
Thomas nodded and refilled the bucket, rinsed out the sponge, and went over to the third centaur. “Hey there. I’m gonna clean off your wounds, okay?” No response, so he dunked the sponge and got started. “Alright, it’s gonna touch the wound for a few seconds… And again… and again…” Again, he had to replace the water halfway through. Finally, he was finished cleaning and dressing the wounds and it was time for him to clean the second boy.  
He stepped into the stall with Joan and the boy, carrying a fresh bucket of water. The boy had tears streaked down his face. “I’m so sorry I had to touch them. But I’m almost done. You the last one. Okay?” There was only one sponge, so Joan stepped aside and let Thomas dunk the sponge. “Okay, it’s gonna press on the wound now.” He pressed lightly, letting the water run down through the bloody wound. “And again.” He dunked the sponge again, and pressed it against a different wound. “And again… and again…” He was almost as bad as the first boy, but he had gotten himself so worked up and had been straining and stressing so much that he had bled a lot more. He had to replace the water three times, and by the time he had finished with the water and moved on to the towel and peroxide, Joan had to help Thomas keep him awake as the adrenaline was fading. They both bandaged him and wrapped the bandages with the last bit of gauze.  
As they stepped back, Thomas groaned at another shot of pain spiking through his arm despite the heavy painkillers they’d given him. “Thomas, you good? How long has it been, can we give you some of those painkillers they sent with us?”  
“I don’t remember what it said…” He shook his head and looked down at his good arm. It was covered in watery blood. “I’m gonna wash this off, could you check for me?”  
“Yeah, sure thing.” They split ways, and Thomas used one of the towels to dry himself off just as Joan got back with something in their hands. “You’re good to take one now. Here.”  
Thomas nodded gratefully and took the pill, swallowing it dry on the spot. “Thanks.”  
“Sure. So… how are you doing about all this?”


	6. Chapter Six

Thomas sighed. “I don’t know… Pissed, first of all. How did that monster of a person treat them that they’d do something like this to themselves?! I just don’t understand! They’re people! How?! How could anyone do this to… to people, and teenagers at that?!”  
“I’ve been asking myself that same thing since I started working at that shelter. People… do some pretty inhuman stuff to centaurs. And as wrong as that is, all we can do is help the centaurs we can as best as we know how to. These four, though… they’re the worst case I’ve ever come across.”  
Thomas nodded. “Aside from that, though… I’m just tired. Both mentally and physically… I wish there something we could do to help them heal faster…”  
“Well… the only thing I can think of is if we could convince them to eat some real food and drink some more.”  
“Yeah… should we see if they’ll eat a little better for lunch?”  
Joan nodded. “Yeah, let’s go see what we can come up with. Oh, you know what, lemme grab these towels while we’re going in anyway. I’ll meet you in there.”  
“Got it. Thanks.” Thomas went ahead of him and waited in the kitchen, and a few minutes later Joan came in.  
“Alright, I got ‘em started in the wash. So, got any ideas?”  
“Well, I’ve tried giving them half and half, and they won’t eat the good stuff… so maybe try giving them some stuff that’s not entirely good but still a little better?”  
“Yeah, I see what you're getting at. So, like… almost rotten but not quite?”  
“Yeah. Like…” He dug around in his fridge for a bit and pulled out a few not-so-appetizing vegetables and half-wilted lettuce. “Um… Ugh, I’m running out of bad food…”  
“Have you tried eating out with them?”  
“Oh… no, I hadn’t thought of that…”  
“Let’s try it then. It should help them make a better connection if they see us eating real food at the same time they eat.”  
Thomas nodded. “Yeah. I got some good salad stuff, do you think it’d help if we had the same type of stuff we’re giving them?”  
“Oh, yeah, good idea.” Thomas nodded and got all the ingredients out one-by-one while Joan started getting it all together.  
When they got it done, they brought out the centaur’s plates first and set them all on the shelf serving as a table. “Why are we putting it up here? I thought they wouldn’t come out over here.”  
“Oh, they will. You have to tell them to, they don’t think they’re allowed to. I figured that out earlier today.”  
“Oh, wow. Should’a thought of that…”  
Thomas turned to the centaurs, already regretting his next words. “Leave the stalls and come to the table.” He gestured and they all obeyed. Joan and Thomas went back to get their own lunches, and when they got back the centaurs were looking at their plates, seemingly confused. Thomas held up his own plate for a moment. “It’s food. You can eat it.” They didn’t react, and he groaned internally. There he went again, being too nice and confusing them. “Eat it. Now.” However reluctantly, they obeyed. They ate slowly, still seeming confused. Sighing, Thomas turned his attention to eating his own lunch. “I hate having to talk to them like that…”  
“Yeah, I would too. But it’s better for them right now.”  
“I know. That’s part of what makes it so hard.”  
Joan nodded in understanding and they were both silent for the rest of the meal. The centaurs kept glancing back at them every few minutes, then glancing at each other before continuing to eat.  
When they were all finished Joan and Thomas brought all the dishes back and dumped them in the sink. They went back to the barn after, where they found the centaurs standing in the same spot, glancing around the barn. The only one who had moved was the Irish boy, who had moved to stand beside one of the stall doors. A quick double-take told Thomas that he’d written something in the dirt on the door. He stepped over and looked closer at it. He looked up at the boy. The door read, Do I have permission to speak? “Of course! Always!”  
The boy took a deep, shaky breath. “Um… Master, what…”  
“Thomas.” The boy blinked at him. “Call me Thomas.”  
The boy nodded quickly. “I’m sorry.”  
“It’s completely alright. What was it you were asking?”  
“Oh, um… the f-food. It was… it tasted like… like what people eat. I… I’m sorry you had to give us your food…”  
“Oh, no, no! I didn’t give that to you because I had to! I gave you better food because I wanted to!”  
The boy was shocked silent for a moment. “I’m sorry… You said…”  
“I want you to eat what I eat. I want to give you guys better food.”  
“I don’t… I don’t get... “ Suddenly he shook his head. “Yes, Master. Uh, Thomas! I meant Thomas! I’m sorry!” He flinched away and squeezed his eyes shut.  
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m not upset.”  
“Y-You’re not… upset…”  
“No. Not in the slightest.”  
There was a long moment before the boy finally responded as if he hadn’t registered Thomas’s response at all. “I’m sorry for being an inconvenience to you, Ma-Th-Thomas! I-I’m sorry!”  
“Do you like calling me Master?” The boy nodded. “Do you like calling me Thomas at all?” The boy was still. “It’s okay, you can answer me. I won’t be upset with you.” After a long moment, the boy shook his head. “Okay. That’s okay. Call me Master then if that’s what you prefer.”  
The boy nodded. “Thank you, Master, for your generosity.”  
Thomas smiled sadly. “Of course. Whatever you need.” Thomas turned to look at the others. “All of you. You guys can call me whatever you’d like…” He and Joan stood awkwardly for a few minutes.  
Thomas wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to tell them it was okay. That they could do it, if it made them feel better. But he also wanted to baby-proof the entire building so there wouldn’t ever be a chance of them getting hurt again. He was feeling so conflicted! He hated seeing them hurt, but what would be better in the long run? Clearly, they have it in their minds that they need punishment. And their bodies must be so used to the abuse that it bothers them to not be hit by something for too long. So it would be better for them mentally if they were allowed to beat each other, but obviously, that wasn’t even an option! So he was at a crossroads… What was more important right away? Their mental health? Or their physical health?  
Thomas thought back to everything he’d learned about them. He thought back on everything he knew now from Joan about centaurs, about rescues, about abuse. It took a long time, and once he’d made the decision it took him even longer to enact it. He so dreadfully despised what he was about to say. But he had to.  
Thomas looked at all of them and cleared his throat loudly, gaining everyone’s gazes on him, including Joan’s. “So… I understand that… that you probably feel like you need this. Like you need the pain, the… punishment… And while I know you don’t… I get that it’s not so easy for you to understand… So, until we get to a point where you don’t feel like you need it anymore… I want to propose a… sort of compromise. I’m going to get some pillows for you guys, and you can hit each other with those whenever you feel the need… And when… If you ever still feel like… Like the pressure from the pillows isn’t enough…” Thomas took a deep breath, noticing that it was shaking violently. “If that’s not enough… Then I’m going to… I’m going to get something to cover my hand with, so it’s safe, and…” He stopped. There were tears running down his face. Joan leaned closer, looking incredulous and worried sick at the same time. “No, no, I gotta do this.” He took a deep breath and managed out the last line. “If you need me to, you can ask me, and I’ll… I’ll make sure it’s safe and… And I’ll hit you.” He barely managed out the last word as he choked on a sob, pulling Joan into a hug with his good arm.  
Joan hugged back tightly, shushing him, rubbing his back. “That was just bout the bravest thing I’ve ever seen. I hope you realize that. That was so brave. And, Thomas?”  
Thomas gasped in a sob. “Wh-What?”  
“I think this is gonna help them… a lot.”  
Thomas smiled in answer and nodded, letting himself sob some more. “I… h-hope so.”


	7. Chapter Seven

The next day Thomas stayed back with the centaurs while Joan went to the store and got new pillows for them. When they’d gotten back, Thomas helped them pile the pillows in the main area of the barn, then they’d gotten breakfast for everyone and ate out in the barn with the centaurs.  
Thomas was trying, he was really trying, to not blame himself. He was trying to remember how Joan had told him repeatedly the night before that they would have ended up doing something like this eventually anyway. That this was just what happened when you work with people that had gone through something like they had. But it was hard. It was really hard not to think about how he’d yelled. He’d actually yelled at one of them. And it was enough to scare them so bad that the Latino boy felt the need to protect the other. He had scared them!   
“They were all doing so good… I was gonna try and put those hooks in today and get rid of the doors... “  
“Hey, they’ll get there again. You just gotta be patient with them. There’s probably gonna be more setbacks again in the future too. It’s not gonna be quick.”  
“I know… I just wish I could do more… I wanna get those wall-beds for them, and I wanna get the doors off, and I wanna give them good food…”  
“I know, Thomas, trust me I get it! But you just gotta give them time. You gotta remember they might have never had any of this stuff you want for them, so they’ll manage without it until they’re ready.”  
Thomas nodded. “Yeah, okay… doesn’t make the waiting any easier, though…”  
Joan nodded sympathetically and they both ate the rest of their meal in silence. Not long after they were finished, while they were still sitting down, Thomas started crying. His shoulders shook slightly, and he sniffled and let out small puffs of air. When Joan looked over at him looking concerned, he explained. “I just realized… We finally figure out how to get them to leave their stalls and I can’t even…” He shook his head, gesturing to his arm. “I can’t even use a shovel right to clean…”  
There was a silent moment, then Joan burst out laughing. “What do you think I’m here for?!” They laughed a bit more and quieted. “Listen… I know it’s gotta be frustrating only being able to use one arm, but that’s what you got me for! Plus, it’s not exactly some huge task for me, I clean stalls literally every day at work. It’s gonna be fine, alright? Let’s get these plates in and we can finally get those stalls cleaned out, alright? You okay?”  
Thomas nodded, sniffling a few more times as he got up with Joan and collected the plates. They both brought them in, then headed back out to the barn. “Hey, Joan, I just… wanted to say thanks…”  
Joan smiled at him. “Sure thing. Now let’s get working!” They brought the wheelbarrow over while Thomas grabbed his two shovels from beside the door and managed to pick them both up with the same hand. Joan took a shovel and they both got to work, Thomas working significantly slower having to maneuver the weight on the one arm.   
They got the first one done, much quicker than Thomas had anticipated, and they had to bring the wheelbarrow out back to dump it before starting on the second one. They had to do this after each one, and the entire time they were working they could feel all four centaur’s gazes on them. A few times Thomas had looked over at them and they immediately looked away, as if they thought they would get in trouble for watching.  
When they were finished with the last one, they stepped back to see how the centaurs would react. After all, they hadn’t been able to clean their stalls while at the shelter either… Their reactions were heartbreaking.  
The morgan was the first to move. He stepped back over to his stall and carefully stepped into it, then flinched and stumbled back out. He stood still for a moment before slowly stepping one hoof in, carefully putting weight on it, and stepping down a few times before easing the next one in, whole body stiff at the sensation. Slowly, he stepped in fully, walking in place a bit before turning around and rubbing one hoof into the clean bedding.  
The Latino boy seemed just as bewildered as he stepped into his stall, letting out a tiny shriek and stepping back out, staring at the bedding intently as he stepped back closer. He carefully stuck one hoof into his stall and poked at the bedding, making a few pieces flick into the air. He shrieked again at the movement and laughed nervously, sticking his hoof in again and digging it into the bedding to shove it around. Then he pulled his hoof back out and just stared, bewilderment written clearly across his face.  
The Irish boy walked right in, then screamed, reared, and raced back out, breathing heavy and staring at the bedding he’d strewn on the ground outside the stall in the process. He slowly backed up, away from the stall, shaking his head.  
Thomas wanted to say something but had too many thoughts swirling around his head to put together a coherent sentence. Instead, he watched as the Shire boy stepped cautiously over to his stall and stared. And stared. And stared. Not moving a muscle.  
Thomas and Joan glanced at each other for a long moment, both trying to see if they other was thinking the same thing. They silently decided to step outside and talk. “Joan, please don’t tell me I’m right.”  
“I wish I could… But how they acted… they didn’t know what that was.”  
Thomas shook his head. “They had no idea what it was! How… how long has it been since they’ve had a clean stall?”  
Joan was quiet for a while. “The real question is have they… ever had a clean stall?”  
Thomas groaned miserably. “Are you kidding me?! I can’t do this! What else have they not had?! Water?!”  
“Well…”  
Thomas sighed. “Right. The dehydration when they were rescued…”  
“Yeah…”  
“Actually, speaking of water, I wanted your opinion on something. I’ve been trying to think of ways to get them to drink more… I keep that cooler in there stocked and I try to bring them different stuff whenever I can, but… I don’t know, I might be overthinking it, but it doesn’t seem like they’re really drinking much of it… When I take stuff out of the cooler and specifically give it to them they’ll take it, but aside from that nothing’s really disappearing…”  
“Hmm… And they know they’re allowed to get into the cooler?”  
“I’ve told them they can, yeah.”  
Joan nodded to themself. “Yeah, I think I see your problem… Have you commanded them to take out of the cooler?”  
Thomas’s face sunk. “Oh… You think I have to?”  
“I think you’re probably gonna have to command them like that to do pretty much everything for a while…”  
Thomas sighed, glancing back at the barn doors. “It’s better for them…”  
“Yeah. It is. It’ll be better for them.”  
He stared at the inside of the barn. “Okay…”  
After a long moment of Thomas doing or saying nothing at all, Joan spoke up. “We should go in and make them drink something… now maybe?” Thomas hummed quietly. “Come on. Especially after their injuries yesterday they’ll need to get their liquid intake back up.”  
Thomas took a deep breath and turned to the huge open front of the barn. “Okay… We gotta do this…”  
“Thomas? Would you rather I did it? I don’t mind helping out…”  
Thomas hesitated. He really wanted to say yes. He really, really wanted to say yes. But the boys didn’t know Joan like they knew him at this point. They were familiar with him. But if Joan, who they still were unsure about, commanded them like that, they might start to be afraid of them, and that just wasn’t fair… “No. It’s okay. Thanks though.”  
“Alright…” They both went inside, and the centaurs looked at them as they stepped over to the cooler in the corner by the tack room, which Thomas was thinking he should get a lock for. The Shire and the Irish boy were in the same spots, outside of their stalls, and the morgan was still in his stall. The Latino boy had actually decided to go into his stall.  
Thomas felt a hand on his shoulder and he took a deep breath. He could do this. He looked at all of them for a moment, then quietly cleared his throat to get their attention. “Um, this cooler…” He took a deep breath, and him and Joan stepped plenty out of the way so they wouldn’t feel uncomfortable coming too close. “Come get a drink out of this cooler. Pick something to drink.”  
The centaurs all obeyed, stepping up one by one and grabbing something out of the cooler. And then they stood awkwardly. “Now drink it.” The centaurs glanced at each other, confused, but each opened their drinks and started drinking nonetheless.  
Joan tapped his shoulder. “See? That’s good! It’ll take a lot more of that probably, but it’ll be worth it for them to not be dehydrated. They’ll feel so much better. It really will be worth it.”  
“Yeah… And they won’t always need me to do that… Right?”  
“Right. They’ll get past this. Eventually…”


End file.
